| I TOLD OFF MICHAEL JACKSON! |
I'm a cynical guy. And I'm analytical. I check out all facts before I make any
decision. If I win a great deal of money, for example, a lottery winning ticket -- I
show no emotion until I HAVE THE MONEY IN HAND. (I'd make a boring game
show contestant) For example, I'm showing no excitement over the great deal of
money that I'm getting from Nigeria, but I will when it comes in a few days with the
party I'm planning! (I'm being sarcastic here, I ain't gettin' no money from Nigeria)
Back in the 70s, I was a DJ for a Soul radio station. (I was there for 9 years until
they found out I was white...) I started out doing the overnight shift -- that means I
not only kept those Motown hits coming on the air, I'd also answer the phone. My
on-air "rap" was as "groovy" as I could make it -- "Hey, shuckin' and jivin'
fingerpoppin' and kneeslappin' and foot-tappin' time with a stack of wax, the
boss with the hot sauce, let's get it on with a goldie oldie right here on the
Don Mueller show" and such.
I'd get some most interesting calls from my audience, most of them teeny boppers
just learning how to use the phone -- sometimes some very seductive calls from
lonely women inviting me over -- after I'd meet them, I'd usually find out WHY they
were lonely, but I'll leave that for another article!
On occasion, as all radio stations do, some disgruntled listener would call and
threaten to bomb the station or shoot the DJ for something we said. And, we'd just
tell them, "Come on down! We'll be ready for you!" And, of course, they never
would!
One quick story here -- a fellow DJ "Larry" was doing the evening shift, and the
station was supposed to be carrying a football game -- but the phone company got
their wires crossed, and the game wasn't coming into the control room via phone line
-- so, as Larry was juggling records on the air, and answering phone calls from
people asking, "So where's the game?" he was under a certain amount of stress,
because no game means loss of revenue for the station. Now, let me explain my
boss there, "Mr. S.". We tried to avoid "arousing his ire", because his management
style was not exactly "calm and gentle"! Mr. S. found out that the game wasn't on,
and immediately called Larry at the station. The boss usually expected all of us to
immediately know his voice when he called.
So, here's how the conversation went:
Larry:"KDKO Radio, may I help you?"
Mr. S.: "What the hell is going on???"
Larry: "Look sir, if you think you can do a better job, gitcher ass down here!"
(click)
I'm glad to say that Mr. S. calmed down, called back and carefully introduced himself
this time, and Larry still retained his job, for a few more months, anyway!
Now, back to me here -- our station played anything that MOTOWN records put out
("Motown" is short for "Motor Town", referring to car maker Detroit, where the record
company was based. Dianna Ross and the Supremes, James Brown, the Jackson
Five, all MOTOWN stuff. Thought you'd enjoy some background)
"The Jackson Five" were a HOT group at the time. And, the teeny boppers LOVED
this 12 year old kid named Michael Jackson. Some of our own staff didn't quite
understand what this squeaky little kid had in sex appeal that we didn't have, but
whatever it was, we'd always get requests. The station did a lot of interviews, live
and on the phone of artists who were coming to Denver, since our station was the
only Soul station in town, and the singers knew that we were good publicity, and
various talents occasionally would get into contact with us for an interview.
Now, with that set-up, here's the story you've been waiting for --
I was doing an evening air shift on that station. The phone rang. Our conversation:
ME: "KDKO Radio, may I help you?"
VOICE: (in a high delicate voice) "This is Michael Jackson."
ME: "What's your request?"
VOICE: "This is Michael Jackson."
ME: "So, what record do you want to hear?"
VOICE: (apparently to someone with him) "Aaaww man!! THEY NEVER
BELIEVE ME! THEY JUST NEVER BELIEVE ME!!
And that ended the phone call!
I sure told him, didn't I?
Well, hey, what did I know? "Michael Jackson" is a common name, right? That
couldn't have possibly been......I mean, don't tell me that I just made an enemy for life
with this kid?? He was coming to town, and was hoping I'd interview him is my
too-late educated guess!
Y'know, thinking it over, I should have been a little nicer -- maybe I could have made
it into his will or something, and been set for life!
Well, back to practicing my moonwalk...
decision. If I win a great deal of money, for example, a lottery winning ticket -- I
show no emotion until I HAVE THE MONEY IN HAND. (I'd make a boring game
show contestant) For example, I'm showing no excitement over the great deal of
money that I'm getting from Nigeria, but I will when it comes in a few days with the
party I'm planning! (I'm being sarcastic here, I ain't gettin' no money from Nigeria)
Back in the 70s, I was a DJ for a Soul radio station. (I was there for 9 years until
they found out I was white...) I started out doing the overnight shift -- that means I
not only kept those Motown hits coming on the air, I'd also answer the phone. My
on-air "rap" was as "groovy" as I could make it -- "Hey, shuckin' and jivin'
fingerpoppin' and kneeslappin' and foot-tappin' time with a stack of wax, the
boss with the hot sauce, let's get it on with a goldie oldie right here on the
Don Mueller show" and such.
I'd get some most interesting calls from my audience, most of them teeny boppers
just learning how to use the phone -- sometimes some very seductive calls from
lonely women inviting me over -- after I'd meet them, I'd usually find out WHY they
were lonely, but I'll leave that for another article!
On occasion, as all radio stations do, some disgruntled listener would call and
threaten to bomb the station or shoot the DJ for something we said. And, we'd just
tell them, "Come on down! We'll be ready for you!" And, of course, they never
would!
One quick story here -- a fellow DJ "Larry" was doing the evening shift, and the
station was supposed to be carrying a football game -- but the phone company got
their wires crossed, and the game wasn't coming into the control room via phone line
-- so, as Larry was juggling records on the air, and answering phone calls from
people asking, "So where's the game?" he was under a certain amount of stress,
because no game means loss of revenue for the station. Now, let me explain my
boss there, "Mr. S.". We tried to avoid "arousing his ire", because his management
style was not exactly "calm and gentle"! Mr. S. found out that the game wasn't on,
and immediately called Larry at the station. The boss usually expected all of us to
immediately know his voice when he called.
So, here's how the conversation went:
Larry:"KDKO Radio, may I help you?"
Mr. S.: "What the hell is going on???"
Larry: "Look sir, if you think you can do a better job, gitcher ass down here!"
(click)
I'm glad to say that Mr. S. calmed down, called back and carefully introduced himself
this time, and Larry still retained his job, for a few more months, anyway!
Now, back to me here -- our station played anything that MOTOWN records put out
("Motown" is short for "Motor Town", referring to car maker Detroit, where the record
company was based. Dianna Ross and the Supremes, James Brown, the Jackson
Five, all MOTOWN stuff. Thought you'd enjoy some background)
"The Jackson Five" were a HOT group at the time. And, the teeny boppers LOVED
this 12 year old kid named Michael Jackson. Some of our own staff didn't quite
understand what this squeaky little kid had in sex appeal that we didn't have, but
whatever it was, we'd always get requests. The station did a lot of interviews, live
and on the phone of artists who were coming to Denver, since our station was the
only Soul station in town, and the singers knew that we were good publicity, and
various talents occasionally would get into contact with us for an interview.
Now, with that set-up, here's the story you've been waiting for --
I was doing an evening air shift on that station. The phone rang. Our conversation:
ME: "KDKO Radio, may I help you?"
VOICE: (in a high delicate voice) "This is Michael Jackson."
ME: "What's your request?"
VOICE: "This is Michael Jackson."
ME: "So, what record do you want to hear?"
VOICE: (apparently to someone with him) "Aaaww man!! THEY NEVER
BELIEVE ME! THEY JUST NEVER BELIEVE ME!!
And that ended the phone call!
I sure told him, didn't I?
Well, hey, what did I know? "Michael Jackson" is a common name, right? That
couldn't have possibly been......I mean, don't tell me that I just made an enemy for life
with this kid?? He was coming to town, and was hoping I'd interview him is my
too-late educated guess!
Y'know, thinking it over, I should have been a little nicer -- maybe I could have made
it into his will or something, and been set for life!
Well, back to practicing my moonwalk...
